I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
