I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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