I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
