How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
