what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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