My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize