Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize