Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
