I got chris browned last night
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
