some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
dude. I can hear the air.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
