So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
