Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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