well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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