your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
