i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
