I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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