i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
