Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
she told me i tasted like america
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize