Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
