bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
