My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
