when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
he thought i was a dude.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
