i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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