I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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