I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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