You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize