was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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