how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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