The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Randomize
