Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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