so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
sarcasm needs its own font
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I lost the right to judge tonight
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize