It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
