oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
