You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I woke up under a house in Key West
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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