epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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