hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Randomize
