This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
