Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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