I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize