If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
