When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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