You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
