Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
