I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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