There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
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