He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
