Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
