I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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