Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
im on a boat
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