I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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