I think I just saw someone hide a body.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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