She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he was CRYING into my vagina
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
