Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
