I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
