you turned your livingroom into a bong?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
