It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
