Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
