i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
