You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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