considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
pray to the hookup gods
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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